Hitman

Out Now On-Demand

Video game adaptation about a gun-for-hire known only as Agent 47 (Timothy Olyphant), who is hired by a group known as "The Agency" to kill targets for cash. The mysterious loner finds himself ensnared in a political conspiracy, which has him pursued by both Interpol and the Russian military as he treks across Eastern Europe.

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Anthropologists seeking to understand the nerd need look no further than this admirably half-assed exercise in stylistic masturbation. How half-assed is Hitman? At one point, the titular innominate is in a fancy hotel being pursued by, I don't know, ninjas or something, and the set-dressing consists of bits of paper with numbers printed on them sellotaped to the doors so as to convey the notion of "hotel".

The Hitman himself is ingeniously characterised in the same way the original Halo's Master Chief was ingenious. His baldness, onastic dedication to tech, brooding sexlessness: all exist to posit the Hitman as a blank slate onto which every nerd can project himself. Timothy Olyphant's bland staunch-white-guy nonperformance elevates him to mythic levels of identifiability: he becomes the Everynerd. What character he's allowed to exert conforms perfectly to how nerds talk when trying to sound staunch or savvy: all clipped imperatives, minimal aggrandisements.

His sidekick, often-naked Kurylenko, is what every nerd wants women to be. Relentlessly derided and humiliated, she responds with progressively less-subtle sexual advances. (And her idea of a subtle sexual advance is, "remember, I'm not wearing any panties"). There is no woman in Hitman who is not at some point horribly mistreated, but Kurylenko's character responds to the Hitman's grating social dysfunction with unyielding, dripping admiration. The worse his Asberger's-level social skills compel to treat her, the more she wants him! Wow, this must be how real women are, out there in the world!

But hey, if it gets the geeks renting some Bond movies for a realistic depiction of world politics and human social dynamics - it can't be all bad, right?

BBC

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Director Xavier Gens pads out this anorexic narrative with soulless but reasonably choreographed gun battles, and buckets of globby arterial blood...

Chicago Sun-Times [Roger Ebert]

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Hitman stands right on the threshold between video games and art. On the wrong side of the threshold, but still, give it credit...

Empire Magazine [UK]

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Incoherent and utterly lacking in panache, style or originality...

Guardian [UK]

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This film is like watching the actual game played by someone with slow reactions. That's not much of a spectator sport...

Premiere

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Ultimately Hitman is about bullets, blood, and bombs. For die-hard fans of the videogame, there is much to relish in terms of cobblestone car chases, punishing fistfights, cool weaponry, impossible physical feats, and ear-popping gun battles that rage through exclusive hotels in exotic locations...

The Christchurch Press [Margaret Agnew]

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The most criminal killing in this movie's blood-spattered 100min runtime is the way Hitman wastes the audience's time...

Variety [USA]

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A Eurotrashy vidgame knockoff that misses its target by a mile. Numbingly unthrilling as it lurches from one violent encounter to another, the pic's dark roots in an electronic, non-dramatic medium are plain to see, and unsuspecting gamers lured to theaters will soon wish they were back home participating in the action themselves...

Incoherent

user


Incoherent

Well, it's not a bad watch, if you're in the mood for that sort of thing. Just don't THINK. If you do, you might realise that the filmmakers are needlessly muddying the oh-so-political plot in order to distract you from the glaring inconsistencies in the plot.

Agent 47's character is particularly fractured. The scriptwriters obviously couldn't decide whether or not to make him impassive, quirky, heart-of-gold, cold-blooded, romantic, noble or sexless. So they decided to go for a glorious mishmash, with the result that he seems uncomfortably out of character in pretty much every scene.

Olga Kurylenko's character, whose rather adorable tattoo jumps around like the Sherriff of Nottingham's mole, is likewise badly-thought-out. She alternates between being the damsel in distress, the provider of feisty repartee, the farcical victim, the symbol of All Things Pure and Good, the very attainable unattainable, and eventually winds up as the doting girlfriend, despite having spent most of the relationship being drugged or locked in the trunk of a car. Feminism, eat your heart out.

The violence was watchable but not spectacular; the twists weren't quite clever enough to make Ocean's Eleven seem passe; and really, the most exciting thing about the movie was speculating as to why a secret agency would do something as gauche and un-secret-agency-like as tattooing barcodes to their agents' heads. Which really, almost made the whole experience worthwhile...

Hitman-disappointment to gamers- cool for everyone else

user


Hitman-disappointment to gamers- cool for everyone else

I enjoyed this movie very well and from erading others comments they may be disappointed, With the introduction of agent 47 softens up. plenty of gore and humour i gave this four stars because of the fight scenes.

Anyway this movie is the addaption to the Hitman game and has wonderful fight scenes, my ABSOLUTE fave would be the sword fight with other hitmen in a train/trainstation. Though it lacks a bit in the plot-line due to lack of depth which i doubt could have been fixed - it does not hinder the awesomeness of this movie. Lots of blood and gore, you see men ripped to shreds from the unlimitted bullets etc etc. Explosions were well done.

Timothy Olyphat (Die Hard4) plays agent 47 wonderfully, showing every emotion and inner conflict on his face and seems to do this sort of raw brutallity well (he strangels a man which was kinda nasty) and you erally do have a sort of empathy for the character. He also looks cool without hair- i spent half the movie going "I know him- but from where damnit!" If you watch Lost and Prison Break you will see some faces including Robert Knepper (T-bag from Prison Break) and Henry Ian Cusick (from Lost).

A slick movie worth seeing in the cineamas and if not rent it overnight when it comes out.

Not too sure

user


Not too sure

The trailer with the voice over is good but the guy doesnt look that much like him and he sounds completely wrong number one american accent and number two his way of speaking Agent 47 is a cold killer who views his job as just that a job he shows no mercy to his victims nor does he kill with a passion

They Kinda killed the character by not making him a robot as such bit of a let down for Hitman fans

Excited

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Excited

This is a real RPG gamers dream! I can't for it to come out, the trailer looks class! I have to disagree with Jack Captein. Hitman is supposed to look angry! Any Hitman gamer knows that he walks around looking depressed killing people WITHOUT A SMILE EVER. Vin Deisel would have been nice - however Olyphant looks like he can do it!

Hitmans Been Assassinated

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Hitmans Been Assassinated

Hitman is a movie that I have personally been looking forward to for a very long time, however I have concerns about Timothy Olyphant playing Hitman, he looks nothing nothing like him and makes hitman look as if he is angry even though hitman is an emotionless killer. I will still watch this movie but won't be surprised if its a flop.