Machete Kills

Out Now On-Demand

Trained to kill, left for dead, back for more.

Danny Trejo returns as Machete Cortez in Robert Rodriguez's grindhouse-inspired action comedy sequel. The grizzly Mexican one-man army is recruited by the President of the United States (Charlie Sheen, billed as Carlos Estevez) to take down a madman revolutionary and an eccentric billionaire arms dealer who has hatched a plan to spread war and anarchy across the planet. Also stars a machine gun breast-plated Sophia Vergara, Mel Gibson, Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba, Vanessa Hudgens, Cuba Gooding Jr. and Lady Gaga.

I admire Robert Rodriguez' approach to making movies. He shoots quickly, works off the cuff and pulls off the sort of casting that makes you think he's probably a fun guy to be around. His films aim to be fun too and when his technique works you end up with something great like Sin City. Sometimes though, you end up with a damp squib like Machete Kills.

The first Machete introduced a great character (the titular Federal), and also felt like it had something to say politically, albeit with a smirk. This one just sort of ambles from scene to scene with no connecting thread, rehashing beats that worked better the first time around.

It doesn't help that the faux-grindhouse aesthetic has well and truly worn out its welcome. Rodriguez seems to be hoping viewers will excuse shoddy storytelling and dire SFX if we view things through a layer of nostalgia and irony. But the exploitation filmmakers of the '70s were doing the best they could with the few resources they had, and Rodriguez barely seems to be trying at all. The result is like a Funny Or Die sketch that goes on for way too long.

Danny Trejo barely even registers this time, despite being in nearly every scene. He's outshone by the only reason to watch this thing - the supporting cast. The likes of Amber Heard, Charlie Sheen and Sofia Vergara acquit themselves well, dialling up their performances to hambone levels to good effect. But it's Mel Gibson's evil genius who really shines, a reminder that he has a hugely magnetic screen presence even when he's just goofing around.

Novelty casting aside, there's not much here to recommend unfortunately. I can't help but hope Rodriguez takes the whole 'making a movie' thing a bit more seriously next time.

Empire (UK)

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Violent, silly, embarrassing, clumsy, confusing, juvenile, occasionally offensive, occasionally a little bit fun.

Hollywood Reporter

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Machete may kill, but on the second time around his repetitious, deadpan brand of humor really doesn't so much.

Time Out London

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Much as we want to relish the shameless parade of cartoon violence ... the soggy plotting and slack comic timing are downers.

Variety (USA)

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As violent as its predecessor yet noticeably duller and less outrageous, Machete Kills is dragged to the finish line entirely by its director’s madcap energy and an absurd cast of major stars in strange cameos.

Total Film (UK)

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Like a meal made entirely of chillies, Machete Mk II is spicy to start with, then unpleasant, then numbing - before it all starts to repeat.

Guardian (UK)

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The odd vivid shot reminds you of Rodriguez's dynamic visual imagination, but also what it's wasted on here: a project as indifferent as some of the trash that inspired it.

New York Times

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Until your eyes glaze over after about a half-hour, "Machete Kills" might put a twisted smirk of guilty amusement on your face.

Wacked out

This is a bit B Rated. Still liked da first one & this one. Still a must see


Machete Kills

Machete Kills is great fun. I'm a huge Robert Rodriguez fan. I love Desperado, From Dusk Till Dawn and Sin City. Danny Trejo is just so likeable and has such a distinctive look. He is perfect as Machete and one of Rodriguez's greatest creations. Sophia Vergara gives an outrageous performance as Desdemona, armed with a machine gun DD-bra and strap-on pistol. Michelle Rodriguez kicks a** as Luz, Machete's one-eyed partner. Watching Charlie Sheen as the president of the United States is amusing. If there's one thing to be said about the movie, It's not boring. Machete Kills is best seen with a friend who you can laugh together with at the hysterical overkills. bad guys getting decapitated, sliced in half, Machete even pulls out some guys intestines, wraps them around a helicopter rotor and shredding him into pieces. My only problem with the movie is that most of the cast don't have enough screen time. Still, Machete Kills is an extremely entertaining exploitation film. I can't wait for Machete Kills Again In Space.


Great trailer - shame about the movie

Trailers are like kids. You love them, adore them, and then - they grow up. They leave You Tube and go into cinemas as full-grown movies and, sometimes, you just wish they'd show a glimmer of the promise, the excitement, the joy they had when they were just a few minutes long. Instead? They let you down, growing up into full-length letdowns like Robert Rodriguez's latest 'Machete.'

The original trailer was amongst the best of the great 'Grindhouse' trailers - a fun pastiche of tacky violent over the top exploitation genre flicks. Oh, how we hoped the full-length version would be as fun as Rodriguez's 'Planet Terror.' Instead, the first 'Machete' was a damp squib, barely living up to the fun and frolics promised by the trailer and squandering both its potential and its cast - with actors such as Robert de Niro given bugger all to do.

Now Danny Trejo's back in the titular role of Machete. Yes, he's back - and he's a mess. The best thing about this dire sequel are the cameos. Mel Gibson chewing scenery as the bad guy; Charlie Sheen a guaranteed giggle as the US President; Sophia Vergara with a machine gun bra; Lady Gaga being gaga alongside the likes of Michelle Rodriguez, Jessica Alba and Cuba Gooding Jr. But, spot the star aside; it's a poorly executed, badly scripted, tired and bumpy ride that was so so much better as a two-minute trailer.

Like the "found footage" genre, grindhouse homage / pastiche films such as 'Hobo With a Shotgun' and 'Death Proof' have become tired pretty quickly. They're not dead genres yet - but if this is the quality we're to expect - they soon will be.

As for 'Machete Kills'? Time to hung up the blade, Danny and Rob. It was fun, for two-minutes.

Another case of great trailer - shame about the movie :(


A movie for the complete brainless!

There is absolute nothing to say other than avoid at all costs!