The Wicker Man (2006)
Out Now On-Demand
This, another in a long line of remakes, is based on the 1973 horror classic about atraffic cop Edward Malus (Nicolas Cage) who investigates a young girl's disappearance from an isolated, mysterious island. Suplexed by the critics.
Tormented by a road accident that saw a mother and her young daughter burned alive, Malus sees a chance at redemption when an old flame gets in contact asking him to help her locate her kidnapped child. Travelling to the remote island, he is shocked to find a secret matriarchal order where ladies rule the roost and blokes are silent serfs. Of the missing kid, however, there is no sign. Malus tries to piece together the mystery.
Horror, Mystery, Thriller
The New York Times
"Not the bees!"
Thinking of seeing this? Do yourself a favour first - watch this: youtube.com/watch?v=e6i2WRreARo
The original was a great (if camp) Brit hoorror with a fab Edward Woodwood and Christopher Lee. The remake is a steaming turd that is stupendously funny for all the wrong reasons. "Not the bees!" Classic bad movie brilliance! On a par with Ed Wood's PLAN 9 or the recent catastrophe THE ROOM...
Not sure if it gets 5 stars for hilarity or zero stars for being just so goddam awful it makes even Cage's GHOST RIDER seem palatable... Nah. It's sh*t. Can I gve it MINUS 5 STARS? Please?